Words

I believe it is time for another blog entry. It is difficult to know what to write sometimes, you know, to get my words out on the screen. I will just mention some words that have been coming to my mind and heart lately. Satisfaction. I am not satisfied. As much at times this may feel like a bad thing, I have to believe it isn't. Someone mentioned today that God is going to fill our hunger. I'm opening up my heart and expecting that. Although unsatisfaction may cause frustration, may God turn those feelings into an unrelenting spirit! Broken. I can't get it out of my head. There is a song called "Broken" by a band called Lifehouse. It keeps playing through my head, because I think there is something so much deeper in the words, and something needs to be done with that song. Broken is both a good thing and a bad thing depending on the person and the circumstance. Escape. Escape from a life not worth living, a life full of dull, meaningless pursuits. Escape into Father's love and so much more. I want everything He has to give.

First Day of SPA

For those of you who may be wondering, I am not doing a year of spa treatments. The word spa has now become synonymous with the School of Prophetic Arts, of which I began attending today. The kickoff was incredible. Last night we were ushered in with a flood of prophetic words from our teachers who have already been investing their lives into this venture. The vision has been cast and now all we have to do is pick it up and RUN with it! Or FLY, as Miss Marcy would say. There is such an anticipation and excitement about what is unfolding. Nothing like this has ever really been attempted before. But truly, it is time to take back the arts for the One who originated them all in the first place. It is a great privelege to be one of the firsts to go through this school.

Follow Me!

Can you hear

Our Creator’s call?

He’s crying out

“Follow me!”

But only those

Whose eyes can see

Whose ears can hear

Will hear the sound

Of his cry in the air.

Follow me!

You are my bride!

My delight,

Can you sense your destiny?

It’s calling you

As it is calling me.

Do not fear.

Do not feed on hopelessness.

I am here

As I have always been.

I, your lover

The one you celebrate

Day and night--

My faithful ones,

You’ve never lost sight

Of the reason

You were put on this earth.

And now, follow me

As we march above the fray

For this is the day

My lovers will hear me say

You are home.

Do not delay;

The time is ripe.

Hear the noise of battle--

I have already won this fight!

There may be sorrow;

There may be pain,

But reward awaits

Those who do not stray.

So keep your eyes ahead;

Follow me when all you see is death.

Be swallowed in the depths

Of my laughter.

Dry your tears;

Put aside your questions

And your many fears.

I have not abandoned you all these years.

Here I am

On my steed of white

Come to capture

My glorious bride.

Follow me!

We Have the Best Dad!

I had a revelation today. And that is this: that God is good! We have redefined "good" as a generation I think, but God is good in the purest sense. He's good because He is a Father! Don't get me wrong, not all fathers are good, but what makes a father bad? He might be abusive, angry, a drunk, maybe because of past hurts or generational sins. He makes bad choices. Can God do those things though? No, because he doesn't have generational strongholds to overcome or sins to be cleansed from. He is perfect. And so He is good. Like the Bible says, a good father would never give a stone to his child who asks for bread. The Father has THE BEST in mind for His children. I am His child; you are His child. What does that mean for us? Just something to think about...

A Tribute to my Oklahoma Friends and a New Phase

I met many amazing people this year who taught me a lot and who mean a lot to me. They were my brothers and sisters, my role models, my dear friends, my second, third, fourth, etc. moms, dads, and grandparents, and just some really good people. Thank you for being the friend I needed when all seemed hopeless or when I just needed to talk. Thank you for persevering and showing me that I can lead and love people to Christ. Thank you for helping me to see that all the investment and giving of myself is worth the cost. Thank you for not giving up on me or yourself. Thank you for being my dad and my mom when I needed it the most. Thank you for hugging me when I felt unlovable. Thank you for being my little sisters and trusting me to be your friend and someone to look up to. Thank you for trusting Christ in me and pulling out what I had to give from the Father. Thank you for loving me, and thank you for being a part of my growth. You know who you are, and what you have done and who you are should not go unnoticed or unmentioned. Bless you all as I move on, and know that you played a vital role in my life and will never be forgotten. I pray all of your journeys are filled with life, joy, and beauty.
And now I wait in eager anticipation for what this year and the following years hold. This will be just one more stepping stone to becoming the world-changer God wants me to be as I am trained in my passions like writing, and so on. Thank you everyone who has supported me and prayed for me while I've been gone, and CCK, it's so good to be back. Thank you for welcoming me so heartily.

The Start of Something New

I have posted on this new blog a few of my recent poems and a couple things I wrote this last year. There is a lot more I could include, but it will have to do for now. I am once again on a new journey in my life. This past year in Oklahoma City has been a series of ups and downs, but nothing I can honestly regret now. I learned once again what it is to give my heart. I learned how to lay down my life for the sake of another's freedom. I learned how to carry the heart of God even in the deepest pain. No, I did not always make the right choices, but God has the ability to use our weaknesses to his advantage. I would not take back this last year. I now look forward to a new season. Though it has been a difficult and somewhat painful transition, I am holding onto what God will have me do in this time in my life and keeping my heart open for whatever opportunities may present themselves both now and in the future. I have been incredibly blessed to have received multiple prophetic and encouraging words in the last year and am holding onto those and to the goodness of my Father to persevere. This year I will be attending the first year of the School of Prophetic Arts, which I am very excited for. God, take me on your journey!

Affection

My resistance dies

As I’m met by your eyes

Your embrace inspires

Affection which lingers

In my heart

When I’m torn apart

I melt with every memory

Of the times we’ve felt

The deepest devotion

To each other

In my shifting emotion

I’m found in the motion

Of your dance

Which ignites in my spirit

A fire—can you hear it?

It’s raging, exploding

With the wildest of pleasures

As I am accepted

By a love beyond measure

I’ll be lost here forever

But really I’m found

By a heart so abounding

In love and affection

With pride and attention

I’ll stay here forever

My affection

It lingers, it longs

To be thrust upon you

The first love that I knew

I always want to be with you

Touch

Touch me

For right now

It’s what I need

The pain is more

Than this idle sore

You see my need

Your truth I heed

For in this hour

I seek your power

My resistance dies

As I search to find

Meaning in the pain

Purpose in the fight

I melt beneath

Your gentle hand

Upon the cage

That holds my breath

Upon the home

Where all my thoughts rest

I can’t understand

At this point in time

I only hold on

So that light can shine

Everything in me

Wants to run

Wants escape

I’m a mistake

But I won’t defy

Your touch on my

Hidden heart

I think I can start

Touch me more

It never fades

I want to live loved

The rest of my days.

Child of God

I am a child of God. I can dance in my Father’s eyes. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Is he calling me pure? Because I think I’ve seen him. Not all of him—no. That’s impossible, because there is no end to him. But I am a child of God! Nothing is impossible for me. All problems are irrelevant, for he is always here with me, inside of me, to take care of them. Never let me take my eyes off of you again. I have nothing to give when my focus is lost. Instead of staring at limitations and hopeless situations, may I stare into your eyes. Your eyes are not empty. They are full of more than I can imagine. I can see your heart when I look into them; mysteries are revealed. Don’t let me shift my gaze. This is the time in history to gaze into God’s eyes. Much will be found there. Things we’ve searched for our whole lives are there. He has been staring into us since before our birth, always steadily wooing and drawing us, because he knows that what we need is there. His eyes are like an ocean full of treasures. Some of the treasures are only visible and beautiful after being refined by fire—the fire in his eyes.

How He Sees Me

Joy flooded my heart as I heard the words I had waited to hear for what seemed like a century. I always thought I would be alone. I would come to points in my life where I just accepted the fact and tried to be okay with it. But try as I did, it was to no avail. The same feeling kept coming back and I would drown myself in the tears I didn’t even know were locked up inside. I was never content. I knew I couldn’t go on like this. The emotion came in cycles it seemed until I was desperate enough to ask the only one who could truthfully tell me how he saw me. I just had to know. I am a seeker of truth, and any less might as well not even be mentioned in my book. It was the hardest thing to do, to ask. But it was the most beautiful day of my life when he answered. I wish I had adequate words to describe what he showed me, but it is beyond even my imagination. If you can, imagine everything you’ve always wanted to be, all the times you’ve dreamed and wished that you could be a certain way, because deep down in your heart of hearts you knew you were made for it. Think with me that you really are that person, because—and this might be hard to receive—you are! Those things you imagine about yourself if only you could be—that is exactly how your Heavenly Father sees you. That’s what he showed me. Now it’s my responsibility to start living the way he sees me. I couldn’t tell you why he would see me in such a way, but I know he does. The only word that would be able to give any kind of explanation is love. He loves me. He made me a certain way, and so the desires I have are right; if his spirit is truly in me then my desires and dreams line up with his.

Your Words

Flow through my hands

Like ink through pen

Spirit move me

And do it again

I need your power

To course through my veins

Love spill out on the page

And rearrange

All that I once knew

All that once controlled me

All that once defined me

Because that’s not who I am

Spill out

Tell me the truth

I search

My fingers anxiously await

What you would have to say

Not only to me

But to the lonely

Give me the words

To share with the hurt

The lost, the broken

And those who are rejected

Show me the truth

So I can pour it into them

My fingers await

Like an eager pen

In a writer’s hand

For the words to spill out

And replace worlds of doubt

Of lies, of sickness and drought

May your words bring life throughout!