Sneak Peek "Colin's Vision" from my novel in progress

Disorientation didn’t quite seem the proper word, but rather a gross understatement for the way Colin felt. He didn’t know where he was, only that he was alive. Maybe. The images in his mind were slowly fading away, but he felt from the experience that he had just lived 100 more years, though not so much in earthly time. He couldn’t really think of any further explanation for it, just that there was nothing in the world that could be compared to what he had just felt. It seemed like it had been so long since he had dwelt on the current Earth, and that’s why it took him a while to reorient his mind, soul, and body. The memory hung onto the edges of his consciousness, still so real. It gripped him and he actually didn’t want it to let go.

            It was more of a tangible experience than merely a series of images. He didn’t know when it began, but he remembered finding himself kneeling on a dusty hill, tears streaming down his sweaty face, though he didn’t know why he was crying. But then something stirred inside of him like he was remembering who he was or where he was, and he looked to his right, where two women dressed in dirty robes and headdresses knelt beside him, also weeping. He recalled his name then—John. But he wasn’t John. But he was; he knew it like he knew his favorite color.

            Looking up he became aware of the darkness around him, yet there stood three prominent objects against the blackened clouds. They were rough hewn crosses, each with a man hanging on it. His eyes were riveted on the one in the middle, for immediately comprehension came. It was Jesus. Jeshua. His best friend, dying there in agony. There was a sign above his head that drew his eyes. He couldn’t recognize the markings on it at first but then his mind told him again that he was John and of course he understood Hebrew. It read This is Jesus, the King of the Jews. The sudden realization of the mockery that was taking place stung his eyes and caused more tears to flow. Through the haze over his eyes he saw an ominous black cloud with an outline of neon light bordering its billowing edges. The cloud nearly overtook the light, yet the light remained. Somehow that thought set his heart ablaze, then he looked into his best friend’s face. That was precisely the moment when Colin, or John, lost all sense of time. It was too real to be a dream, but too sensational to be real.

            Yet it was real. His mind screamed no but his thoughts didn’t seem to carry as much weight as they once had. They were just…insignificant in light of all this.

            He heard, as if the words were literally reverberating inside his brain, a loud but strained voice call out “Eli! Eli! Lema sabachthani?” It was Jeshua, right? Or was it him? He couldn’t tell the difference. The next thing that invaded his awareness was the threatening presence of evil, and then his eyes found them. Demons.

            They were taunting Jeshua as he died, and they were taunting him. They swirled around him and hissed into his ears until he could hear no other sound. He wanted to cover his ears with his hands, but he couldn’t move them.

            “He has forsaken you! He has forsaken you!” They whispered harshly, followed by cackles of satisfaction.

            He couldn’t move; the mocking seemed to go on for an eternity, and all his eyes could see were dark, hideous forms moving in circles about him. Then, after a seemingly endless amount of verbal torture, a thought finally made its way somewhere into his being, and it outmatched the voices. He had to say something.

            He had to say something back!

            Somehow he gathered all the reserves of his strength and made his lips move. “Nooooooooooooooo!” he called out, reaching toward the middle cross. “Nooo! He has not left me! He has not left us!” As his arm had reached out, it parted the circle of demons and cleared his sight in front of him. He could see Jeshua’s gory form and knew he was dead. But there was life. There! Above him hovered two glorious beings bathed in light which pushed back the surrounding darkness, seeming to invalidate it completely. One of them looked at him with understanding and compassion in his eyes and he knew it wasn’t the end. Wait—he always knew that, right? He believed in God, right, the God who was alive and active?

            The angel held his gaze and said, “My name is Lucius. And this, my friend, is far from over.” The words filled him with so much peace that he hardly noticed that the demons had vanished. He felt he was in this state for another unidentifiable amount of time, and then he was fading away.

            The next thing he knew was that he didn’t know anything. Just the lingering experience that was no more in the past than the things he had yet to go through.

            No, disoriented wasn’t quite the right word.