Useful

Have you ever had one of those days when you just don't feel like you've contributed anything to the world?
That day is today for me. I'm off work and have no other plans to fill my day. My goal was to work on my novel, but I wrote less than a page and it honestly felt stale.
These days happen; I understand that. Sometimes I just don't know why. I mean, I'm an artist, right? So when I have a free day like this, I should let creativity take over. But it doesn't always, despite my supplications to my muse (who is none other than Jesus Christ.) So there must be a reason the inspiration didn't come, right?
When I experience days like these there are some questions that arise within me. Questions such as: Does God still consider me useful even when I haven't been productive? Am I really doing anything good for the world? Was my life meaningless for a day since I didn't accomplish anything?
See, I feel that in this season of my life I'm living in this tension of knowing what I'm made to do and who I am but not always doing that or being that.
I'm waiting.
I have become but am not yet unveiled. I am a writer but not yet recognized as such by a large audience. I have a job but have not yet stepped into the fullness of my calling.
So in this place and in days like today when I am seemingly not moving forward, who am I? Maybe I need to start asking different questions. Like: Do I matter to God when I am not doing, but simply being? What does it even mean to be? How do I separate my self from my actions and accomplisments?
I know that I am always God's daughter and that he always desires to pour his love into me. So perhaps it's okay sometimes to not do anything, to stop and just exist for a moment. Maybe I'll move forward more than I thought was possible if I do this.
I keep hearing this word about waiting on God, and he will accelerate you.
I'm waiting.