Each time something significant comes to an end, I realize more and more how much it really isn’t the end. High school graduation was the first end. That felt like nothing I’d ever experienced before. Exciting, but emotional and uncertain, with a lot of insecurities lingering inside. Then came the end of being a student in Master’s Commission. It felt like the end of my life at the time. Overly emotional, a sense of loss but gain, lots of crying, for days. I didn’t know how I could go on without those covenant friends around me 24/7. But God drew me, and slowly but surely I could see it was not the end. Oklahoma was next. Leadership. A hard year, for sure. When that ended, there remained some regret, a lot of fear about the future and what it would look like to come home after so long. But I did begin to see that there was a lot ahead of me to look forward to, I just was afraid because I could not see it clearly. Coming home turned out to be one of the most difficult seasons. I missed people and the state terribly, but the hope of looking forward to the School of Prophetic Arts kept me going. (It was really God that kept me going all the time, of course.) After the first year of SPA, I understood even more how it was not the end. It was still only the beginning of all God wants to release in and through my life. I realized how much training I still needed to be all God wants me to be. I was being propelled into my calling. This time, I just knew it was not the end of SPA. I had to do another year. And I had to take dance. There was something in it for me I knew I could not pass up. Well, I have no regrets. And even though in some ways it does feel like an end, this time I know it’s not. I am being launched. Once again, I cannot see everything absolutely clearly in my future, but this time I know I am not lost. God is faithful, as He has always been, but my eyes are finally open more than ever to that fact. All I have to do is trust in His good plan and His higher ways. There is grace for every moment, if I take every step in obedience to His voice. I am not afraid anymore. I will take this world by storm with the love of God, His way, in His time, for His glory. It’s only the beginning. I am so grateful. I am overwhelmed.
