Truth Meets Desire

This poem came out of a time we had today to ponder the story of the woman who anointed the feet of Jesus at Simon the Pharisee's house, as told in Luke 7. I found myself mostly relating to Simon in this story, which somewhat surprised me. I believe in addressing this man who was both disgusted with the woman's actions as well as skeptical of who Jesus really was, Jesus was calling to his heart, speaking to his desires if he was willing to listen. Jesus was not rejecting him for his judgmentalism, his sin, or his lack of faith. He was calling him by name, acknowledging him as a man who needed grace, if he was only willing to lay down his pride, receive forgiveness, and become as extravagant with his love as the woman, the "sinner,"
 was with hers as a result of that receiving.
Jesus' truth was calling to Simon's desire that had been overcome by his doubts.

The one who sees me sits in this room tonight
The one who knows and looks right through my pride
He is my shelter, glowing heart
A voice that speaks my name
An eye that pierces through my shame

I am here, I am now

I don’t know why or how
Creator’s breath, Creator’s touch
Moves through the invisible
Notes the imperceptible

When I sit alone afraid of my thoughts

Not wanting to utter the whispers that shudder
All through my mind, the unseen, the blind lies
He is the one who is privy to my pain
The one who gives me a safe place, who calls me sane

My safety, my guide

Who understands my thoughts better than I
Who calls to my heart when I’m tied by my mind
Arouses desires that stir and make known
The path I long to tread, to love and to yearn

When I don’t know how to learn

He opens me up so I can kneel and unwind
Lay before him my pride
The dirt and the grime
So audacious to assume
That my tears could undo
The filth on his feet
But his blood says they do

The one who hears my doubts

When they remain in my head in the crowd
Picks me out, confronts straight up what I’m about
And his words bring me back to desire
The longings that once were on fire
Before they were consumed by my qualms

The one who looks and sees
Pierces through every encroaching disease
And speaks truth that meets
A desire that knows my deepest needs

Art: The People's Safe Haven

Last night I had a revelation about art in a way I hadn't really thought of before. I was attending this concert and just observing all the people around me, thinking about what brought them here, why they went out of their way to come and enjoy this night of music.
Many of us hear and know that people tend to use art as an escape. I believe this is true, but I also think the reality of this runs deeper than we may realize.
People came to that concert last night to lose themselves, to get carried away in the beauty of the music and the talent and passion that was expressed. To take a night off from the every day grind that wears us all down. I think people look to various forms of artistic expression as a safe haven. It's a place they can go, something they can experience where the inner depths of their identity and longings are known. It's a time where they can let down and just feel, instead of doing and producing.
I believe artists have a very important job, and it goes way beyond entertainment. When people come to enjoy art, it is their time to get away, to find common ground with all types of people who all have the same desires and hunger deep inside. It's a way to connect with their Creator, even if they don't know that's what is happening.
Art has the ability to create a safe place. A place that welcomes you in and tells you that you belong and you are not alone.
That is why I believe it is so critical for those of us who are followers of the true Creator, our Father God, to create works of art with all the passion and life He gives us. If you are an artist, as I am, I encourage you to throw your whole being into what you create. And always do it with God's grace and power behind you and in you. Cry out for a greater release. Don't believe the lie that your job as an artist is not as legitimate as other professions.
Being an artist is a most important role in our culture today. Jesus is the people's safe haven, the only One who can truly speak to the depths of people's souls and not leave them empty at the end. As artists, we are the ones who provide that getaway that people need, that safe haven where people can come and let down all their worries and cares.
Let us draw people in to come away with Him. Let us leave people with a taste that lingers and warmly invites them to experience more.
Let us use the gifts God has given us and not hold back.

Steady and Sure

Jesus, every time I fall behind or bend under the weight of life
Please remind me you are here
Father, I don’t want to deny your attendance in my days
Your existence in my heart
Please remind me you are here
Not only here to stay but here to be my world today
That everything I do would travel a road back to you
That every endeavor, every act, every word
Would find its origin in you
That when I walk and when I talk
I would think of you and the love that you’ve shared
Not so I can hoard it
But so I can build a place of safety
A place of hospitality
Where my whole life is an open book
Ready to draw others into the story unfolding
As I lay down my life for your glory

Let me not look to myself anymore

What I can do, whatever waits beyond that door
The things too harsh to face
What I try to do without grace
My eyes you train to see you
To be fixed on your eyes that show me what to do
And how
And I will not fade or fall or waste away
When my heart is alive in your constant embrace
Steady and sure
I’ll lock my eyes on yours
So that I’ll remember why I was made

"Source" and "Take Flight" (A prayer and response)

This first poem starts out as an expression of frustration and a prayer that expresses my desire to be closer to Father so He can work and create through me.
The second I believe is His response. Let Him speak to you where you're at today. He wants to, with all His heart, even if you don't feel it.

Source

How much time can I waste

Thinking I have no words to say?
I’m on the edge of disgrace
Tears threatening to streak down my face
I’ve lost sight of your grace
In this moment
When all inside me wants to live with meaning
I sit around idly and can’t feel you
I know you haven’t left
Because if you had I’d have tasted death
But why do I sit here, lonely
When you’ve given me your voice
And I always have a choice
I need your love, what can I say?
I’m an orphan here, just waiting for that day
When I’ll know I’m wanted
I don’t mean to say I’m ungrateful
Or that it’s not true
By my heart doesn’t always feel as it should
Until I pursue yours
So teach me, Father
As I sit here, without words
Scraping and scrounging, trying to discern
What it’s all about
I’m lost just like all the rest
I have nothing your mercy hasn’t sent
So keep me humble and keep me open
But don’t let me forget that I don’t have to be broken
Forever
Hold me now, hold me close
I want to hear your breath, the bob of your throat
I need to know your warmth, your soft, gentle voice
That steals all the lies, that hushes the chaos
In my mind
You’re stirring in my life
I’m coming away with you
For what else can I do
In the midst of this pain
In the midst of all we’re going through?
You’re the anchor to my soul
The rose that teaches me to unfold
The warrior that opposes all my foes
And brings me near to your kingly throne
The words are there, barely
Scratching the fringes of your presence
But do my eyes see?
Open
Open up
Climb deep inside and show me
Who you are
How life speaks and points to you
As the source
Father hear my prayer
Your daughter’s waiting here
Not knowing what to ask
But not satisfied without your touch

Take Flight

Rest from your striving soul

Give it to me, I’m in control
Of every care, every worry
Everything uncertain in your mind
I hold in a bottle of time
For I stand outside
So
Let go, don’t you know
That I want you free?
That my yoke is easy
If you let me carry
All the loads, the confusion that overflows
Into your heart
The sacred place where our love started
Child, you invited me in
But I can’t live in a place so cluttered
With thoughts that are scattered
And not meant to be
Look at me
For I am here
And my very presence in your life
Trumps any fear
That tries to tell you you’re not good enough
You’re not
So embrace it fast so I can be
Your everything
Dear one, you are precious to me
I am not mad or absent
I am fully me
And you see, to be fully me is to be love
I see
Through eyes that wed the dirty sinner
When he was not yet clean
And I see you now
Pure as can be
A child full of destiny
That belongs to me
So come away and be mine
Detach yourself from what binds
And blinds
And find that my life
Flows through and makes a way
For you to not only get through this day
But be alive to my creative design
Take joy and take delight
For even in the fight
You’ll soon take flight

I Close My Eyes

I wrote this poem in a little bit of a different approach than normal. I would say it's more like a free write where I just put words on the page even if I didn't
 know what they meant yet, and this was the result. I pray that as you read this God will touch your heart just as He is touching mine through these words He helped me to express.

I close my eyes because I can’t seem to surmise
What your face looks like when you’re looking at my life
I want to see you there in all your glory, just who you are
Pervading every molecule every moment in time in this world
That I find myself in, catching up to the grind and the design
Of daily life, this living that I look to try to find
Meaning in the moments
A reason to create
A song of passion to sing before it’s too late
How much time can I waste
Before I taste what I was made for?
Because I’m standing before this open door
Just waiting, listening, pleading
For you to show me how to step through
If I enter will I see?
If I go will I believe
That miracles direct my destiny
And you are in, around, and pulsing through me
In this cavity that seems to only hold my organs, blood and bones
But in reality is a cave around your ghost?
What does your breath in me
Feel like, taste like
And what is it supposed to produce?
When my mind overcomes my pursuit
I am lost and in the darkness I forget
That once your passion flowed through me like blood
Ignited my fingers to release the words that were vaulting from your heart
Gave me dreams to dance
To show the world who you really are
But do I know?
Doubt
It leaks in as a tar to my faith
Suffocating the joy that once accompanied grace
And fear takes the place of grace
But it can never undo your face
Oh, because when I remember
When I look, when I gaze
And go back to that place
You’re still there
As I sit in my shame
Feed on my enemy’s blame
You’re still there
Holding my hand, seeing my tear-streaked face
And holding my ear to your heart
Just to tell me it beats
Did I forget I’m alive?
This passion you confide, this love that ignites
It’s still here
And it’s a fight that sometimes is black
That sometimes only shows me my lack
But then grace comes
Like a gentle wave
Caressing my heart and reminding me why I’m saved
And your name is all I care about
I close my eyes so I can see
The beauty that once set me free
Because you said you would stay here with me
Until the night is done, until I see
Until I believe
And longer, you linger, merely to be with me

Enter In (Armor of God)

I enter in fully clad in battle dress
Though I do not fight with blood and flesh
This war that wages is old and I am new
Born again out of a merciful womb
Time stands still as a light in my heart dawns
Awakening  both to love and to duty
I bow in love to the King who commissions me
Not to my death but to carry His breath
My waist is girded with Truth
My chest covered in His righteousness
My feet shod in peace
Only found within His reach
I am given a shield of fiery faith
Able to defend against every lie from every wraith
My head is guarded by the sturdy steel
Of the salvation that brought me to this field
And last of all though not least by any measure
I take up the sword of His Word, my dearest treasure
Now, covered head to foot
I’m finally found and ready to begin
As long as I never leave Him I’ll win
Wrapped in destiny and favor I’ll fight
And His heart will beat in mine
Until the day I die
When I will see Him and enter in
With complete delight
Knowing I never gave up the fight

Redemption (Easter poetry)

Born into sin in a world that’s returning to dust

Despising what’s right in our rush to devour our lusts
We’ve never sought God and never known peace
But speak with deceit and consume bitter feasts
Till all understanding, all truth and all life
Is replaced with great envy, murder, and strife
Collapsing into a depraved state of mind
Having no fear of God disobedient and blind
With greed and with pride we strive to fulfill
What our sinful penchant compels us to build
Homes of no trust no love and no good
So all that remains is evil and hate and our gossiping graves
We cling to the lies that deceptively satisfy
The craving within for approval and life
We approve of the evil around and within us
A useless and insolent brood without any rest
We’re stuck here in sin, only worthy of death

Then Jesus came

Overcoming what brought us our shame
Under the Law we were slaves to our sin
But when Christ shed his blood made righteous again
Pulling us out from the mess and the trash
That we had indulged in, that brought our hearts death
His mercy and patience canceled what we had done wrong
Though we were the ones who jeered in the throng
He restored us and justified so by faith in his name
We are set right, cleansed and remade
Oh merciful Father you sent your own son
To become the very life we could never have done
We all fell short of your glorious way
Till you shattered our yokes and conquered the grave
By your unyielding kindness and the gift of your grace
Through Jesus we’re healed and eternally saved

                                                ~

I was lost
When my tears hit the pillow one by one
Telling a story that wasn’t done
Or rather, one I didn’t know was already won
My mind it told me you were real
Said you were good that you love that you heal
But my shattered heart tried to steal
Whatever truth I knew up there
I didn’t know how to feel
The voices I heard said I was stuck
That I could never see
I could never be free
Because of the way that I was
But you came
2000 years ago and took all the shame
And when I saw it I fell
I fell in love, though broken and hurt
With the one who took all my dirt and gave me worth
What I knew in my head traveled down where it belonged
The freedom of your love became my new song
And your deep heart helped me to see
That the times I felt alone you were there with me
The lies they had to leave
Choked out by your blood that covered me
My fear departed I had a new heart and
I could finally see
What I was made to be
It’s not me, you see
The goodness of my destiny
Is Jesus living in me
The hope of glory
Compelling love, beauty and creativity
Are an endless symphony
Making my life a story
That brings redemption, hope and change
To a world that’s bound up in chains
Lord release your rain
And bring the nations back to you
Triumphant life no power in death
This is what fills every breath

Good Gifts

God gives good gifts to us. Just because He loves us. Recently as I was praying I asked Him to help me see the gifts, to recognize them when they come. I believe that if we truly saw all of His gifts, it would radically shift the way we see life. We would enjoy life more, be more at peace, just knowing we are loved and taken care of.
And he does take care of us.
I often wonder why I worry so much, because whenever I look back on what has happened in the past, I've never had anything to worry about. Why would that all of the sudden change? Hasn't God proved His faithfulness to me enough?
The answer is yes.
I worry about money, but I have never lacked.
I worry about relationships, but He always restores.
I worry about my job, but He has always come through.
I worry about my future, but He provides unexpected opportunities.
He gives good gifts. He knows I love beauty, so He gives me a clear view of the mountains. He knows I love the sun, so He gives me a sunny day and time to enjoy it. He knows all the little things I like, and He gives me these things, here and there, just because.
Just the other day I was telling my parents I wanted to see a play at a certain place. Today He provided free tickets.
He gives good gifts, and I want to recognize them and always trust Him. If He cares about these little things that bless us, will He not also care about all our provisions and well being?
Trust brings peace. Peace releases what we may not have expected previously to receive.
It's all about perspective.
God gives good gifts. Let's not look at our lack or the circumstances that could be better. He loves us, and we are never alone.