Living

God is at work in my heart. I feel like He’s probing, pushing on sensitive spots. He’s showing me what to live for, but seemingly only revealing little glimpses, small images or words that pull at the deepest parts of me. It’s hard to find the right words, but I just feel like He’s calling me to live my life in a different way. It starts with the way I think about myself. Then way I think about God, others, life, and the future. Our thoughts truly do create. And I want my thoughts to create in me the life my Creator intended for me to live.
I don’t know what the future holds, but it’s exciting. I don’t want to forget that. But I don’t want to think so much about what’s to come that I miss what’s happening now. What I am to do every day—right now. There is no greater call than to love people. And if that’s all I have to live for, that’s enough right now. To show God’s love in whatever way I can. To give. To give, to give, to give. I have so much to give. I am asking God for more outlets. But I know He won’t open doors unless my heart is ready, so that’s what I’m asking first. That I might know His love, that my heart may be turned away from selfish thoughts and towards God’s purpose. It’s all about Him. There are so many lines like that that we have turned into clichés. But do we live them? All I know is I want to live all the truth I’ve been taught my whole life. I want to live it now. I don’t want to wait anymore. I want to take the time to stop and listen to someone’s life story, to really care. I want to be willing to have my heart broken by knowing what someone else has gone through. I want to risk the pain of knowing and caring about other people. And I need wisdom and guidance in it all. God speak! I want to hear you—all the time. I’m desperate. Something calls to me deep inside. I can’t pass life by. Life is now.

Trust Dance

Her muscles strained, employing her entire being to push out the last move. It had to be the most important one, the one that revealed the most, said the most, exerted the most passion, left the audience feeling vulnerable and responsible. But it was the most difficult, the one that had been the most challenging to practice, the one that had taken her months to be confident enough to attempt. The one that took the most trust. Contract, kick, ball change, turn—
Reach, and arch, one leg in attitude.
Peace. The moment lasted longer than it was intended to, at least to her. Finally, at the end of the dance, in her final moment, the completion of all her effort, she gave up. At last, she was not in control. The music swelled and guided her, and someone greater than her held her, became her strength. She smiled out of genuine joy and rested in her Creator’s arms. The One who made her to dance, the one who delighted in her even if she had made a hundred mistakes throughout the piece. She could finally trust that she could hold this last move and not fall. And in this holy moment of trust, she knew every man and woman attached to every eye watching her was beholding a miracle. The miracle and the beauty of dependence. They were not watching a young lady dance anymore, they were in fact beholding their very own Creator delighting in his Creation.
She felt the moment could last forever. But it didn’t. She slowly completed the dance, coming out of the arch, extending the leg, then down. She exited the stage feeling transformed. She had been held by her Creator. She had known his approval. She had reflected his beauty and his likeness. She was living her purpose. She was alive. And she was in love.