Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Cover


What do you see?
What do you see??
Do you see my heart beating?
I feel it is dead
It is dead without Him
So please don’t see me

My weakness so plain
It weighs on my soul
But why do I care
If it’s for You, I’m told?

I want to be held
I want to be loved
I can only do so much
I’ve got to give up

Being loved is enough
Knowing Him is enough
I want to please Him
But I already do

My heart must believe
My soul must give in
To His relentless faithfulness
In the face of my reckless sin

My heart is so hard
I have a critical eye
I have negative words
My flesh needs to die

But You never fail
You’re strong and unmoved
So I am still used

I can’t comprehend
Your love so vast
It’s hard to believe
That You look past
But I guess to be
A good person at all
I’ve got to believe
That You are All

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Shame and Art



We are each infused with the life and nature of our Creator, made in His image, set apart from all other creatures to think, speak, and live like God. Not to be God, but to be reflections of Him. How far we have fallen. Right? That’s what we would say. What a shame, what Eve did, what she made Adam do, that we now have fallen so far away from our original purpose. What a shame that we cannot be as we once were—whole, pure sons and daughters who lived in intimate fellowship with the One who breathes life into everything and who loves radically and infinitely.

What a shame.

And yet, something deep inside calls to us, pulls out of us a desire for things beyond this realm, for a life we seem to know but have never experienced. Many of us turn to art and creativity to try to express these deep unfulfilled longings. We are trying to get back to who we really are; we are trying to find the One we first fell in love with.

But we are ashamed.

Nothing comes out quite right. There are walls seemingly surrounding us, people gloating over us, failures and weaknesses taunting us. Sins we cannot master over.
A friend recently told me of a time she was talking to a leader in a church. This leader said that one of the biggest issues and hindrances plaguing our generation of Christian young people is shame. What an obstacle this has been! I think I know without even having to ask that we have all hid our faces in shame multiple times, probably even within the past week. And it is keeping us from moving forward, from emerging, from living beyond the status quo! Our destinies are being jeopardized by shame!
We want God to use us, we want to create beautiful things just like He does, we want to find His heart in our prophetic creations. But shame holds us back. We think we are not good enough to be used, that we have too many fears, make too many mistakes.

Why can’t we get past this?

It is because we feel like there is something wrong with us. We need the revelation that God knows we will mess up! But He does not see us that way. If we are born again, He truly only sees His Son. Because that is what He chose to see. And when He sees His Son, who gave up everything for His heart and glory, He cannot help but love. So you see, His love is never taken from us. If we will only confess our sins in openness and surrender them to His great love, He will take them from us. For good.

Shame is an unnecessary block to our growth.
It is a needless enemy to our creativity.

God can and will use all our broken pieces from our messed up lives to bring about good in our generation.
They are waiting. You know who some of them are, you don’t know who others are. But they are waiting for the sons and daughters of God to be revealed.
Let the Creator use your brokenness to set our generation free! Only He can do something so amazing. Stop hiding behind shame, because Jesus looks at us as if we have never sinned. There is no limit to what He can do with that!

Monday, February 7, 2011

Beginning

I'm at the end. I can feel the last fibers of the rope roughly slipping through my grasp. My weakness is amplified by the second as my only hope becomes mere threads. I know I will fall. And yet I hold on anyway. It is simply too daring to believe that there is anything beyond the yawning abyss below me. I am frightened, for what will happen when I lose control and fall into the unknown? Now only one fiber remains in my sweating fist, and I want to give up. Maybe what is down there is better than this barely surviving state. My shoulders ache, and my whole body is parched. I cannot take the pressure of hanging on any longer--it has consumed my focus, sucked life from me. Maybe the unknown could in fact be a glaring opportunity for adventure--a whole new realm where creativity thrives and true love pulses through hearts that are alive. A place where beauty awakens destiny and purpose. Will I find my Creator if I only let go? I'm at the end--so I have a decision to make. Will I let it happen to me so I confess my wrong because it is the only thing left to do, or will I willingly give up because I know already I have always been at the end of myself? I've heard it said that at the end of yourself is a beautiful place to begin. Well, here goes. I'm letting go. Creator--consume me! I'm falling into your abyss. I don't know what I will find, but I'm ready to be overtaken. I can't do this anymore, so I surrender to your love.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Fill


The pain wrought by life
Inflicting desperate souls
Tires aching hearts
Who can find their home?

No place where we belong
The love we find soon grows old
When will it ever stop?
Surrounded, why do we feel alone?

Pressed in on every side
Fake smiles exchanged, implying hope
Touches linger for moments
We wish we could hold

But we lose our grip before we can
Understand what it’s for
The memories fade
And somehow only pain remains

We look for something real
Every day, a search
But by setting of the sun
We forget why we even started

What can fill our aching hearts?
Who will hold us when we hurt?
Are we doomed to emptiness all our days?
Or is there hope that lingers, a sun with lasting rays?

Why would this question remain
If not there be an answer?
Why do our hearts awaken
At times, if no hope exists?

The calling of our Maker
Resounds inside each soul
We won’t find rest until
We know He is our home

So let Him love you now
Tell Him how you feel
When you open up
Every wound He will heal

He’s calling out your name
It is not you who can save
His mercy chooses, in pain
To reach to you, for your own gain

Give your life to Him
And your suffering will not be in vain
For He is worth the tears
And He’ll remain, through all your years.

I Am

I know the greatest story of all. I do not boast with conceit, for I do not consider myself to be the most qualified to tell of this story. Nevertheless, I know it. It is the greatest because it is the truest, proclaiming a longed for hope for all of mankind and the entire universe.
This story begins with an artist. An artist possessing many names, the most all-inclusive being I Am. This artist named I Am existed before time began, existed before anything else began. He was the origin of all life, of all meaning and purpose. He was the Three-in-one, living in intimate fellowship as the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. He was fulfilled—he had no needs, though his heart was bursting with desires. He was so happy with his intimacy in relationship that he just had to give it away, to share it. He was an artist, after all, so in divine creativity he made something that never existed before—the galaxies and the Earth. He took great delight in creating so many different elements, species, and forms of life, with so many different colors, shapes, designs, textures, and purposes.
But his most prized creation was man.
Man would share in the sweet fellowship belonging to the Three-in-one. Man was made in the very image of I Am. Man would have a deeper purpose, a higher greatness, than he himself could even know.
But there existed evil. I Am did not create it—it was the disobedient choice of a high-ranking heavenly being who allowed pride to steal his devotion to the Originator. Lucifer was his name. Lucifer, now embodying evil itself, needed somewhere to spend his passions, his unfulfilled desires. So he chose I Am’s favorite creation, man, to corrupt.
Sadly, man fell for the deceptive beauty of Lucifer in Paradise, where he was tempted to disobey I Am’s single command. The one evil act led to another, and another, until man’s appetite for evil seemed to overtake his desire for intimacy with his Creator. The world was corrupted, and Lucifer thought he won the great battle.
But it was only the beginning.
I Am could not bear to be separated from his prized creation because of their evil choices. He was Love itself, unwilling to relent his deep passion for sharing his intimacy and fellowship. So he did the most painful, most humble thing of all—he sent the Son to become a man, from birth to death, fully man, yet fully the great I Am. His name was Jesus Christ.
He came to identify with man, to love the ones who hungered for evil, to teach the ways of the Father, to remind man of his original identity and destiny to walk with the Creator, to truly live. But man did not understand or refused to accept the teachings of I Am’s Son. Because it did not make sense to them that I Am would appear in human form they rejected his life-giving message and sentenced him to die.
But you see, it was I Am’s plan all along. There must be blood to atone for man’s sinful nature. It was the only way for man to again live in fellowship with the Creator. So The Father allowed the Son to be crucified, and to bear the burden of every sin in his own soul. I Am himself, the perfect one who always was, took man’s share of shame, blame, and punishment, just so he could be with him forever. But it was not the end.
Jesus rose from the grave, proclaiming victory and hope for generations of men to come. It is a high cost to follow I Am, but an even higher one to not. For what can we do when we know what it is we were created for? Is he worth everything to us? Can’t we give him everything we have, after he spent everything for us? It is truly the least we can do.
The story continues. Step in and discover your role.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Moved


I am moved by the breath of my Creator. My spirit opens up, and my body moves, guided by a strong hand at my back. I depend on him. I take risks, knowing he is holding me. I am safe with him. No evil can touch me. For when I open my heart to him, he invades me but guards me from negative influences. When I am closed to him, I am open to darkness.

Soften my heart of stone
Tear open my beating heart
So it beats for you alone
Open my unseeing eyes
So you can guide me on the path that’s right
So I can see your beauty is greater
Than the biggest obstacle
Beyond the realm of fantasy
Your glory
Your beauty
Your impossibility
Is what’s real
Move me
In your dance
For when I move in your presence
I know I am alive
You are good news
For we long for something real
Something beautiful
Something to inspire us
And you are real
And you are beyond our wildest imaginations
Right here
Right now
Taking us into your heart
Plumbing the depths of your love
Open me up
Close me off
To what’s evil and dark
So I can be the light you speak of

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Helpless


Take me off guard
Catch me unsheltered
Encounter me exposed
So I can’t resist
But I helplessly melt
Under your ruthless pressure
A scream is boiling up
From deep deep inside
For I can do nothing
Until this intensity subsides
The pain becomes unbearable
But I don’t want to budge
Until you’ve done what you came for
And I am utterly undone
Love my dying heart
With your relentless hand
Diffuse the evil within
Until my flesh is dead and you win
Come to me unveiled
So I can see the fierce beauty
Of your holiness and purity
Where all I’ve done that’s good
Is put to shame
Where all I am without you
Is worthless and to blame
I bend involuntarily
While your glory undoes me
Yet I am fully content
For I’ve been met
By the power of my Maker
By a love this world knows not
And through the pain of my dying
I find life
A life a never knew possible
So meet me unguarded
Yank my heart to yours before I pull back
So I can’t breathe on my own
So all I am is all I lack
For only in you do I count any gain
Only for you can I endure this pain
Only in your love will I never be the same
You capture me and give me your name