The End of Me

I held his hand.
A simple gesture, and yet it changed my life.

I didn’t realize how often I had overlooked significant moments in my life until the day I had come to my end. I still had everything: money, friends, something to be a part of, possessions. But this was the day I came to see how empty I would be without the Love of my world, without my Creator’s spirit pulsing life through my chest. I felt, for the briefest moment, that He had left me, and everything fell apart. Confusion reigned in the domain of my soul. I couldn’t look anyone in the eyes and tell the truth, I couldn’t receive consolation from my friends. No one cared, and I didn’t expect them to. I had utterly failed. I didn’t even know what the truth was anymore, and I never, never thought I would come to this point. Everything had always been handed to me, generously, everything I based my life on. But what would I do when the choice was mine?

Throw it all away.

See, I hadn’t paid for it—someone else had. And I didn’t understand the price they paid. Frankly I didn’t care. I thought I cared, but when it came down to it, my own reputation and comfort was more important to me than anything. Well, not anymore. Not after my eyes were opened to the hideousness of my ways, to the rebellion in my soul, and the way I had hurt the ones I claimed to love the most. The confusion was eating me alive, and I didn’t know what to do. Until I let Him speak and reveal what was so obvious.

I had failed.
But.

But—He already knew I would. He knew this when He gave His life for me, years ago. He knew I would break His heart and hurt His other children, but He still gave His blood for me. I was covered. All I had to do was accept what had already been done.
But how? I was racked with guilt. What should I do?

Receiving my pardon will be your most humbling act.

That’s what He said, and I knew He was right. When I chose then and there, kneeling on the floor, alienated from the rest of the human race, to let His love flood my heart, the shame was lifted and I saw Him for who He really was. Kind. Merciful. A Creator who paid the ultimate price for His creation. The one to whom I owed my life, not the one who I was entitled to partake of.

I saw Him then.

He looked right at me with the deepest eyes of love, and He drew me right into His story. He said I would have to pay a price, but that it would be worth it. Well, I had come to the end of myself—what did I have to lose?

I took His hand.
Actually, He took mine.

Have you ever held your Creator’s hand? You would know if you have. For your life would never be the same. Grab on. He’s already reaching for you.